I have to admit, I’m not the most avid TV watcher nor do I ever really know what’s playing at the movies until I’m standing at the ticket line (there have, however, been a few exceptions). Generally, with so much work in the evenings, it’s difficult to find time to plop down in front of the screen, but even I have been subject to a few head turning experiences in the past months. The most striking has been the surge of TV dramas, sitcoms, and talk shows touching on the topic of teen pregnancy. There was a recent movie on Lifetime based on the scandal at Gloucester High School in Massachusetts that made headlines back in 2008, after an article in Time Magazine reported on the alleged “pregnancy pact” between 17 girls in June of 2008.
Some of you might also recall the Today Show interview with Tyra Banks conducted by Matt Lauer in 2008, where stats of an on-line survey posted by her show revealed the following findings: on average, girls are losing their virginity at the age of 15, one in three fears having a sexually transmitted disease, 24% of teens say that they continue engaging in sexual behavior even after having contracted STDs, and one of my personal favorites (as if the former haven’t been sufficiently startling), that one in five girls claims to desire being a teen mom. What is going on? Has our society finally reached the point where teen girls can find themselves pregnant and know that it will no longer be frowned upon? I’m sure we can thank the ever-relentless fight against repression and intolerance by Planned Parenthood and SIECUS, continually urging women of all ages to liberate themselves from the bondage of traditional values by accepting any consensual sexual encounter.
It seems, from shows like MTV’s 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom, that through society’s attempt to not pass judgment on the sex lives of teens, it has managed to reverse the once closely guarded principle that pregnancy out of marriage is out of its proper context and unacceptable. Now, not only is it assumed that guys and girls are going to have sex, in particular given the message being conveyed when schools hand them condoms and teach them “safe sex” practices, but now, it’s also taken into account that realistically, they could be pregnant by the age of 15. In a way, it’s like handing a teen a six pack and telling them that as long as it’s consumed at home, it will be allowed, only to later find out that they’re raging alcoholic a couple months later. Not a surprising outcome when the process was so conveniently facilitated. Even though shows like the ones mentioned above show the hardships young mothers undergo, you would be hard-pressed not to find multiple instances where the scene depicted would lead you to believe that pregnancy at 16 is almost a right of passage.
Society has been lowering standards for decades now by supplying contraception, offering abortion and the morning after-pill as options that are being treated like any other method of pregnancy prevention, and justifying these actions with claims that no matter what, teenagers should be fully in control of their sex-lives and the choices they make in experimenting with their sexuality. Why are we allowing kids to make grown-up decisions? Remember when you used to ask your dad to explain something to you when you were, let’s say, ten, but instead he’d respond saying, “You’ll understand when you’re older.” I would get that constantly and would end up frustrated for hours until I found something else to focus on. Hopefully, as we have progressed through life we have come to realize that like those instances, we can’t always fully comprehend the repercussions of the actions we take and the decisions we make. It’s the culmination of all these individual learning experiences that prepare us for what lies ahead: college, grad school, relationships, our profession, marriage, and family life.
Pregnancy is not something that young teens should ever be concerned with. No matter how ready, capable, self-reliant, motivated, and full of support they find themselves to be. There is a time and a place for everything and when done in the right context all things work out. Pregnancy at a young age is asking to engage in an experience beyond one’s years and one that if experienced too young prevents all the proper elements from being fully present: most cases are lacking a father, available income, a stable home, the support of the grandparents, and a secure environment in which to raise the baby.
Through the portrayal of young mothers in the media, it is often offered up as a reason, that they don’t regret their decision to have sex because now they have a b
aby that will always love her no matter what happens. She might be left to raise the child without the father, face shame and humiliation in school, rely on the aid of her parents, accept the possibility of not being able to finish school, among many other setbacks, but her baby will always be there for her.
In my personal opinion, it seems to me that these girls are si
mply craving attention from certain areas of their lives. They feel that by carrying a child for nine months and raising it on their own, they will never have to look for someone else to supply the care and affection that they need. At any age, given the wrong context, a baby is not the answer. Women need to focus instead on finding fulfillment and elevating their confidence before raising a child. You cannot convey such self-assurance to your child if you don’t posses it yourself.
In conclusion, society has found a way to inadvertently condone teenage pregnancy (especially since you always have “options,” right?). We have to start making sure that girls know the true consequences of having sex and bringing a human being into the world. For those who are subject to a pregnancy at a young age, help and support should always be provided, but the message should be sent to woman everywhere that life is precious and too short; everything happens in good time, patience is a virtue and if you take your goals and ambitions seriously, prioritize, and strive for a healthy and stable lifestyle you will end up with no regrets and accompanied by years of happiness.
